Yeah, that about sum up how I've ben feeling of late. I'm way behind on writing entries because I've just not had the best few weeks. Of course, I do realize that's probably the best time to write - you get the meatiest stuff, and it has a cathartic effect. But if can't get motivated, I can't write. And, it's not like the last few weeks have been awful - they've just not been particularly great. Definitely more bug days than windshield days. It started at Friends Lake on May 2 - Keith and I had gone up to open the house, and I thought it would really bother me to b up there without both mom and dad. But I did fine for Friday and Saturday. Sunday, though, I was really depressed. By the time I got home, I had a terrible migraine on top of feeling depressed. I missed work that Monday, for the first time since coming back from bereavement leave.
Then came Tuesday 5/4. I had to send more papers to the realtor for the apartment, and I twisted my ankle in a pothole in Tuckahoe, and faceplanted in the street. I ended up with a sprained ankle, and am now sporting an aircast. Add to that a broken toe four days later (same foot), and that's how that week ended.
The next week was a mad dash of work to try and catch up, as my Juniors were hopelessly behind - it's amazing how many "indispensable" lessons become dispensable when the end of the year is looming. Through all that, my ankle throbbed, and I tried to figure out how I'm going to grade the hundreds (yes, hundreds) of things I need to grade by June 18th. Mix in a couple of seniors in danger of not graduating, and Juniors manipulating and taking advantage of my good nature, and it all becomes a bit much to deal with.
Cleaning out the house has had its ups and downs. Coming across all of mom and dad's wedding cards, still in the little satin bag, as well as their response cards (yes, really), was both sweet and heartbreaking. The toys of my childood are being relegated to sell piles, as if I'm selling off those golden years. And, oh, yeah, we're tying to arrange a garage sale for this Saturday. Bags upon bags of stuff that needs to be sorted and priced. With 2 Yankee games this week, and graduation Friday, when is there time? In between trips to the post office (navigating around the pothole) to send more documents to the realtor and the mortgage people?
This week, my sadness is focused on the fact that I've sold my Jeep Wrangler. I love this car, but I had to sell it - I can't keep three cars, especially moving to the city. It's going to a good home (a 19 year old girl on Long Island), but this car is my baby. It's the first car I bought for myself. I had it in Mexico - drove it cross country twice! And, it's a really cool car - everyone oves it. I've never been cool in my life - it was kind of nice to have people look at my car and think how cool it was. I realize that I am more upset about this than a rational person should be, but I can't help it.
And, lest we think we're done, let's add some insensitivity to the mix. Today, while teaching the kids about analytic interviewing - and after yellng at them twice - I proceeded to give an example regarding a student's mother chaperoning a party. An instat after I spoke, I realized the student I chose (who sits right in front of me), is a student who lost her mother. I couldn't believe I could be so stupid. She didn't seem overly bothered by it, but I was horrified. And, in that perverse way we human beings have, the error led to hysterica laughter in the whole class. I was a complete wreck in front of them, unable to continue. It's like laughing at a funeral - something just gets into you and you can't stop. The kids must have thought I had fially lost it. It took me forever to regain my composure, and it wasn't something to laugh at - I actually think I started laughing in disbelief at what a complete moron I am, and then it just escalated out of control. A completely inappropriate response, and I feel like a complete ass.
So, yeah, bleh is about the best I can do right now. Now it's time to jump of the computer so I can strangle Brooke with her anti-bark collar (which, admittedly, would be more effective if she were actually wearing it right now).
